31 August, 2011

Tea Party Boob Job

I was thinking yesterday of Pat Buchanan's 2000 Presidential bid. After announcing his break with the GOP -- calling it, as well as the Democratic Party, a beltway party (which one of the two lucid things he's ever said in his life. The other was when he cried for his binkie as a baby.) -- he more or less took over the Reform Party started by 1996 Presidential hopeful Ross Perot. Buchanan's political platform called for, among other things:

  • withdrawing from the United Nations and the expelling  the U.N from New York;
  • getting rid of the IRS, the Department of Education, Housing and Urban Development, and affirmative action programs;
  • eliminating taxes on inheritance and capital gains.

In addition to losing the election, he also unhinged the Reform Party as a serious third party, which had, since Perot began, moved a bit left of center. Prior to Patty boy getting the nod, the Reform Party tried to get Natural Law candidate John Hagelin to carry it's banner. Hagelin is a physicist and proponent of Transcendental Meditation.

There were some pundits and politicos who suggested that Buchanan's run was not so much an attempt to get back into White House using the front door -- after all, he was a Nixon speech writer and an adviser to Nixon, Ford, and Reagan -- as it was an attempt to either change the direction of or completely unhinge the Reform Party. He did both. Yes, they're still out there. But they're taken about as seriously as the Green Party.

Now we have the Tea Party Movement -- which is a hobgoblin of social and economic conservatives, religious wackos,  disgruntled GOP'ers, and bigots. Enter Sarah Palin, far right wack job and late night spank material for uptight conservative white guys everywhere. Tea Baggers love her the way 13 year old boys love Bree Olson.

And they have Michele Bachmann, who won the Iowa Caucus in spite of confusing American movie icon John Wayne with clown costumed serial killer John Wayne Gacy;


While there are some uber-conservatives and evangelicals who like Bachmann, she won't survive a national campaign. Loony may play in Iowa, but not so well in other places. The same goes with Sarah Palin... although she seems amazingly immune from her own stupidity in a way that reminds me of George W. Bush.

So what if the Bachmann/Palin plan is really just the GOP's way of unhinging the Tea Party Movement as a serious political entity? I've been told that the Tea Party really isn't a political party. Some say they want to refocus the GOP. Some say they want to shoot Mexicans on sight. So who am I supposed to believe?

What if Bachmann/Palin is nothing more than the GOP's core attempting to redefine the same old platform using a religious psycho and a former beauty queen? Aging white men in America tend to move from their chairs for only a couple of reasons: to go to the bathroom and to see a pair of bouncing tits. In this case, it's a 2fer...

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